Hi 25. Thank you for not holding back ;-). But I do appreciate it.
So I was one step ahead of you in a way lol. I have applied for a day shift role with my current company. I will be considered for it but it depends on (i) whether someone leaves on days and (ii) if they can replace me on nights as not many want to work the graveyard shift. I really want to stay with these guys as they are fantastic to work for and there isn't a lot of jobs out there at present. Have you really looked?
Secondly, I contacted my WAW and told her what I had done and said although I didn't need to tell her at all (as we are no longer together) I wanted to inform her so that it wasn't sprung on her if she needed me to come get the little one some morning after my night shift ended.
Anyway, the question which I was expecting came straight away.... "So what's brought this about?" she said. I told her that I was struggling with being tired all the time, that I was having to turn down meeting friends for dinner/drinks/nights out etc because of my anti-social hours and that I was taking a huge pay cut to do it. However, I said that our D would always be the No 1 priority and nothing would impact in any way me being a part of her life as much as it's always been. Why didn't you begin & end, with saying that you want more quality time for family and friends 7 GAL?
Your answer excluded her or your marital situation as a factor. How odd it must have sounded to her to hear you do exactly what she wanted, but not for her or anything remotely resembling HER , and you mentioned your d last, using the words "although"....which makes it seem like you'll have LESS time with her but is that true? If so, explain HOW you will make your d a priority if you're going to have less time for her. Are you? I thought just the opposite.
Plus, with HER (w's) schedule you can lessen her mother guilt if you can help her more, but if that's not the case, admit it! If time with your d was a reason FOR the night shift, address that too.
I asked how she was getting along and she proceeded to chat about her work and how she finds it difficult with the little one during the week as she feels guilty having someone babysit her if she needs to go out because she doesn't see her at the weekend. ?? You mean she only sees her then? Is there anything you can do to aid her or your d, with her situation? OR offer to?
I made sure that I didn't interrupt her and told her she is doing a great job with D. I then ended the conversation as always. Was the question from my WAW something you would have expected from her from what I've told you?
Yes it is a question I expected. She may have hoped you'd say "I did it so I'd have more time with the people in my life who don't work nights AND for all my GAL..." Instead you mentioned everything but her or GAL.
why? Were you so afraid of looking as if you were pursuing her? I get that, but I also get the sense that her love language is quality time...btw, read The Five Love Languages by Chapman when you get the chance. I recommend it for every couple.
maybe you'd have heard her better when she made the comments about passing ships and the homebody stuff.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
