Well I didn't intentionally leave a door open. She has access the same way any stranger does. No one can peruse my page, only see who I am. I didn't block her from facebook. I didn't know that I could. And now that I do - I'm not even giving her the time to block her. I guess I could show her that I meant what I said.. but after 3 years, I don't want to waste the energy.. or teach her how to treat me. I am moving on. Period.
It's annoying because I don't find it very loving of her. I'm not giving her ANY indication that her being any part of my life is welcomed at this time. She asked me to leave her alone. I have respected those wishes for 3 years. Sure I would love to reach out to her when I miss her or when things remind me of her, but that is not what she asked.. and it is not healthy for me to stay connected to her.
I guess I just wish that she was more self-aware. I do not expect her to care about me as a spouse or even as a friend, but this act was selfish. Her motive was her own and she in no way thought about how it would affect me. And that is something that even a stranger would do.
If I wasn't clear about what I wanted or what I didn't like 6 months ago - I would be more gracious. But I'm done. Not angry. Not confused. Just over it. I took the 100+ steps. I'm not taking any more.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
