Still trying to save my family - part 11

[Scorp7]

My W agreed that I pick the kids up this Friday. She knows that I'm pulling the RV over there (she still listens in to the phone calls) she just thinks it's only until Monday night. I would have to tell her it would be for another 4 days.

Telling her that the kids will be in school and doing all their usual things shouldn't hurt, should it?

Actually I was just at that mall this past weekend. It's about an hour away.

[Scorp7]

I'm sure she will ask if the kids will be in school, where will they be, who will be watching them etc.

If she ask basic questions...why would not respond to them?

I was over analysing (a hobby of mine I really need to ditch) the first message I send. Tell her all the info upfront so she knows how it will go without her potentially flying off the handle and making assumptions. My W and I have both been big time guilty of making lots of assumptions in the past 7 months.

[Scorp7]

You guys have definitely been a big help, once again I don't know why my W scares the h*ll out of out of me like she does. She definitely does scare me though. I always knew she would be the one person that could totally destroy me and now I'm faced with it. I've given her that power, it's time I took some it away.

I'll let her know my plans up front via an email tonight.

I'm looking out for the best interests of the kids and I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if I thought for a second they wouldn't be just fine.

I'll be within a few blocks of her which should put her mind at ease in the sense of the kids aren't in another province like they were when they were home with me a little over a week ago.

[ericmsant2]

a hobby of mine I really need to ditch

Then ditch it. Talking about it will not help.

she just thinks it's only until Monday night

Why does she only think it is until Monday.

Dude - be honest with her about the kids schedule and your plans i.e. when they will be with you. Otherwise it looks like you are playing games.

Actually I was just at that mall this past weekend. It's about an hour away.

When is the next time you will be around there?

[Scorp7]

Why does she only think it is until Monday.

She had agreed a couple of months ago to my weekend with the kids to be extended to Monday night. I pick them up Friday from school and then have them until Monday night. I take them to school Monday as well, pick them up, have dinner with them and then they go back to my W. She would be assuming that would be the plan for the coming weekend.

I'll tell her that I plan to have the kids with me from Friday after school, as we have been, until the following Friday after school.

I can't help but think she will threaten to withhold them from me. If she does all I can do is go to court and get the interim custody order. She may do the same once I tell her my plans. Yeah, I'm doing the what if game again, very, very hard to stop.

If I do spend the week with my kids then I may be back down that way on the weekend of the 19th.

[Mach1]

Yeah, I'm doing the what if game again, very, very hard to stop.

Hard...

Not un-obtainable

[ericmsant2]

I can't help but think she will threaten to withhold them from me.

"I can't help BUT" implies you have no control over your emotions. You are giving yourself an excuse to continue to live in fear. IMO, because is it what you are used to.

You can help it!

Send her the email with your proposed schedule and then wait to see what she says. Keep thinking negative thoughts..and that is what you will end up with.

If she does all I can do is go to court and get the interim custody order.

I may have missed it in your thread....why do you NOT have some temporary orders in place already?

She may do the same once I tell her my plans.

Mind reading.

And....

May....

I may chit orange unicorns tomorrow.

It may snow tomorrow.

My XW may call me and apologize for being a PITA tomorrow.

Mach may hit the powerball tomorrow

Drew may have a sex change operation

Can you control any of the above?

If not, then why the F*ck do you continue to worry about it. One day at a time. Live in the moment!

If I do spend the week with my kids then I may be back down that way on the weekend of the 19th.

Cool. Know where the Bass Pro Shop is?

[Scorp7]

I may have missed it in your thread....why do you NOT have some temporary orders in place already?


I'm still hoping to resolve this out of court. I may not have a choice in that, we'll see. Another fear I have, the whole family court thing and it's apparent bias against fathers.

Cool. Know where the Bass Pro Shop is?

Sure do, love that store

[Drew]

I'm still hoping to resolve this out of court. I may not have a choice in that, we'll see. Another fear I have, the whole family court thing and it's apparent bias against fathers.

Scorp,

Eric is exactly right - your fears are paralyzing you. Why? And don't answer me, answer yourself.

My impression is that you equate ANY court action with a long drawn out custody battle. Not necessarily so.

Ask your lawyer what it takes to get a court order granting you access to YOUR children. That's it. No relocation. No full custody. Just access. Negotiate from a position of strength.

And where exactly do you get this anti-father bias? Friends? Internet? Newspapers? YOUR LAWYER?????

And if I were you do you know what my attitude would be?

Never tell me the odds.

[Scorp7]

Just got this from my W. I haven't posted her messages since she's been emailing just about every day for the past week or so. This one seems pretty relevant to what I've just been talking about:

"The suggested plan that I provided was merely for the months of July and August when the children are out of school. I suggest we try this plan for the month of July, see how the children adjust to it and make revisions/changes/negotiations to the plan, if necessary, at that time. Do you agree to the suggested plan for the months of July and August?

Gymnastics: D6's gymnastics class is in need of help - one coach is not enough for the size of the class and for each participant to receive the right amount of attention and instruction. I have stepped forward to assist with the class. D6 is excited about this. In order for me to help with the class, the plan would have to be that the children are picked up after D4's class...so at 6:45pm at Coffee Shop. Then I would take D6 to class at 7:30pm. Is this something that you feel could work?

I provided the executed Listing Agreement to the realtor via email this morning at around 8:15am.

I have started discussions with Mary, counsellor at ... for D6 that we discussed, and I have also let her know that you will be in contact with her throughout the summer to discuss how D6 is doing. I am planning on taking D6 in to meet Mary in early June to see what D6's comfort level is. I'd like to get her familiar with Mary before she is done seeing School Counsellor. After D6 has had the opportunity to meet with Mary, and if she likes Mary and wants to see her over the summer, I will get the contact information to you.

The girls' birthdays this year: As you have heard, I have planned a party for D6 to invite her school friends to on the 31st of May at the .... I thought this way, she could invite all of them. I haven't come up with a plan for D4's yet...it will more than likely be on a smaller scale but fabulous for her nonetheless.

What are your plans for relocating? Are you waiting until the house is sold? etc. "

After reading this, I am sure she will not agree to my keeping the kids for the coming week. She is dictating everything to say the least.