Hi 25. What if I do change my working hours and I don't get her back? Um, hello? You just finished saying you won't be able to meet OW with your night shifts. Now you wonder if there is a guarantee of getting her back without a BIG change on your end. Boy does this sound familiar. First off, NONE of us EVER get any guarantee that our changes will get the WAS back. Nor will we get a guarantee of them staying with us...
Here's MY guarantee...I'm fairly sure you will NOT get her back without that change. And as for meeting OWs down the road, not sure how that will happen but what you KNOW, is that your night shift hurt your marriage. That is what you KNOW... I'll be left with a substantial drop in wages and no wife. So you've made your choice. The money IS what makes YOU feel safe & "happy", or "happier"...so admit it and pay the price. OR re-evaluate that choice.
At least with my wage now I can get my own place etc. if I change I'll be stuck living with my father and not enough money to buy my own place. Jeez, this is a huge risk. I'm scared.
Who wasn't scared? We all were damn terrified. You sure seem to boil it down to two hideous choices as if there is nothing you can do to change the equation. Surely SOME day jobs pay better than the day shift at your present job. (Yeah you'll have to LOOK!) It won't fall into your lap. But don't say "two ships passing in the night" KNOW that your job hours sukked for marriage, refuse to change that and then insist you want your m to work.
you don't get to have it all your way. (That's just life, and that's how it is for all of us).
I left daughter home today and chatted to WAW. Was really nice and pleasant but I kept the mystery about my holiday then left. It seems it's all I can do.
It seems all you WILL CHOOSE to do...Start owning that.
If I were your wife, I'd know that money was more important to you than taking a chance to pursue me by giving something up...and I'd be reluctant to want to feel like the 2nd choice much longer, which I believe she has been feeling.
Your comments make it apparent that while you do "prefer" her, ("eh? Kind of...")
she's not key to your happiness nearly as much as your decision to 1) not change shifts and 2) not try to change JOBS --- so you can have a good income AND a reasonable schedule.
YOU have made it a silly choice. Either or. But the simplest equation ("only THIS SHIFT and ONLY THIS JOB!") means that you can tell yourself you have done "all you can do"....ie not much, except to be more pleasant around her. Pretty convenient....
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
