Still trying to save my family - part 11

[Maritimer]

I have the same fear. I understand that you need to be cautious regarding getting equal time with your children. Unless your totally messed up, it will work out.

If it comes down to going to court, most courts will agree that shared time with both parents is whats recommended. Divorces are such a common place these days up here.

Get all your ducks lined up and go for equal time with your kids. You didn't ask for this, your just doing the best you can with the cards you have been dealt with.

[Drew]

I'm afraid that by telling my W I'm going to do something that she hasn't agreed to she will cut my contact off from my kids entirely. She's done it before.

Because you've allowed it!!!!!

Good gawd man, find your stones.

[Scorp7]

I just want to get a handle from you vets on if I should give my W the heads up before hand on what I'm going to do. I've already made my mind up that I am going to go over there and start living 50/50. It's just a matter of if I tell my W now or wait until after I have the kids.

[Drew]

Eric already told you. I will pick up the kids X. They will be back Y.

[Drew]

With your lawyer on speed dial because she's holding a temporary custody order granting you, THEIR FATHER, equal access to the children.

Notice I didn't say anything about moving them back to your province?

[3boymom]

In my opinion, both you and your W need to stop the whole idea that you can just take your kids and make a change without informing the other parent in advance. First, your wife up and leaves with your children. She was completely in the wrong. Now you are contemplating picking up your kids and once they are with you saying "oh by the way, you wont see them for a week because I said so." In my opinion, you would be in the wrong.

Please stop this behavior, it is so childish and not in the best interest of your children. In my opinion, you need to completely eliminate the entire notion of making unilateral decisions and then telling your W after the fact because you are scared of what she will say.

If your wife says no, then you call your lawyer and legally pursue a resolution.

[Drew]

^^^ Yes!! ^^^

Scorp, we're all telling you the same thing.

[Scorp7]

Cool, I really appreciate the feedback. It feels like the right thing to do to tell my W beforehand about the coming week.

3BM, I agree, if I don't tell my W upfront and then spring it on her I will be doing a mini version of what she did 7 months ago.

Do you think I should tell her a bit more than just pick up on this date and drop off on that date? I'm sure she will ask if the kids will be in school, where will they be, who will be watching them etc.

[ericmsant2]

Scorp7

I believe that she has already agreed that you can have the kids on X day. Right?

If so, then all you need to do is confirm via statement where, when and what time you will pick up the kids as well as drop them off. She already has your phone number so she has a way to reach the kids.

I think you are spinning a bit too much on this topic.

I agree that you should not play games with your ex NOR should you feel like she is playing games and will withhold them from you.

So go see them, enjoy them, spend mucho time with them and stop worrying about what your W is going to say. You can't control it anyway.

BTW, how far are you from the Cross Iron Mill Mall?

Eric

[ericmsant2]

I'm sure she will ask if the kids will be in school, where will they be, who will be watching them etc.

If she ask basic questions...why would not respond to them?

No one here is telling you to be a d*ck. We are telling you that YOU do not have to walk around with your tail between your legs worrying about everything she does, does not do, says, does not say.

Those kids need Dad as much as they need mom.

So yeah...if my ex asked me, if Toria was going to school I would say yes.

Eric