I probably should clarify, I wasn't saying it is a 180 or tactic with an ulterior motive. She always said that I needed to spend more time with my friends, even during BD she said this. She is correct, I do need to spend more time with them.
My thoughts are that if I skipped out on my friends it would be a step back to old me, not the new me I have been working on. The new me would go with the friends and celebrate. The old me would want to go but feel guilty if he went that he wasn't with his family or wife, so he would stay home and think that is what a "good" father and husband would do. The good husband and father would put W and kids before everyone else, including friends and himself and then he would sulk about it and some of his friendships would wane.
I will have to see what my friend is doing. I feel equally compelled to be with both, but know that I will not "lose" my W by going out with the guys if I decide to.
gogofo, sounds like you are thinking through this in a very thoughtful manner. You'll end up doing the right thing.......
I don't have and specific advice for you here but I do know that I was very guilty of the bolded text above and look where that approach has gotten me (us).
Stay strong!
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
