[SemperFi00]

I'm with Dingo.

We can't read her mind but that's what I would have been thinking. And as gogofo's W told him, "there was never one big issue or event, it was multiple little things that piled up over time."

In an honest, healthy R, she would have told you what she needed but you haven't had a healthy R in a long time. She's done, you're the one who wants to turn things around if possible.

So you have to do the work.

ouch! and thank you.... especially for the reminder in the last part above.

And I thought I was being nice by getting up and going outside with the dog so that she could rest more...... she's usually the one that gets up first.....

Funny thing is I actually had the thought 1x while outside about coming in and asking her if she wanted to keep sleeping or get everyone up and going - guess I should have listened to that voice!

How might you handle things differently the next time she says she wants to go to church at 0800?

This gets back to that divide of responsibilities in your household. She's no longer happy with that set-up. How can you show her you're hearing her and understand and that things could be different?

I think in some areas I have been doing this (doing more laundry, cleaning, being more patient with older boys, doing more w/S8, bring Christmas decoration down 1 box at a time, more active listening when she is talking, making sure that I am ready on time for things, etc....) but clearly blew it in this example.

Next opportunity for the 8a start I will just get up and start the process of getting everything started - I know that her preference is to always go at 8a.

Truth be told, I am not even sure she would go if it wasn't for me and the boys - but that's really mindreading and another story.

What might you say to her now to find out what she needs from you in those situations?

May need a bit of help with this one since right now W seems to be only interested in discussing logistical items. Later Sunday evening I tried to ask her about the morning and she cut me off mid-sentence saying it is not a big deal. Tone very much indicated she did not want to talk about it further....