I guess because, I refer back to the "beginning" of us... we were so into each other, wanting to be with each other... I am looking for the same. No, neither of us used to have days like that...wanting to be apart... we were so enmeshed for 20 years. Living/working/sleeping together...
I want to believe he was just tired... but, afraid to be a fool and think that he was pulling back as well. He is clearly not ready for much with me... only coffee & the dates that happen on his terms.
My mind and gut are confused. I think I should accept some coffee time and decline on others... just so that I don't believe that its more than what it is... HIS connection time, easing his confusion.... adding to mine!
As for reflection reactions... I guess I need to stop it. Stop being so reactionary? but how? Can you show me how I should have/should be being/thinking right now?
OK.. won't ignore frustration... will exercise & then go for a walk.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
