Heather, There you go again! Thinking about things that are in the future. You need to focus on today and today only. Each day will take care of itself.
Yes, it's difficult getting out of bed because of depression, but also weaning yourself off of Paxil. It takes time for those meds to get out of your system.
Okay, so the windows need to be cleaned and the flower bed needs weeding...when your daughter returns home this coming weekend, put her to work. She's 19 and if she's not working a paying job, then she can help out around the house until she gets one. You are not super woman and your daughters can help you if you ask them. I'm sure they would help you any way that they could...but you have to ask them and provide them with tasks that they can do.
As for your daughter getting a paying job...that would be great. The summer job may not be what she wants, but she can surely find work at the local fast food places if the other positions don't pan out. There is work out there, but she needs to be determined go out and find those jobs. As for transportation, this is something that you might want to discuss w/your parents, i.e., a good used car for your family to use. You can barter your time helping your mother out or as a loan to be repaid back at some point. Just thoughts to toss out to you.
Your daughter may want to return to school next year, so put the onus on her to find a way to earn the money and to do the research for scholarships. That's her baby to own, not you. If she wants it bad enough, she will do the work necessary to get there. It's not your baby to own.
You have a barn, can't some of the stuff be placed in there under tarps?
Stop, breathe and stay in the present. Everything will work out.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
