Matt, stand firm on your boundary regarding where your D's live. You have rights. I agree with CB, it may be time to meet with a lawyer.

Regarding FIL pulling W away from you... Think of it this way: Could your parents get you to leave your W? I didn't think so.

Your W is unhappy in her M. FIL is only attempting to capitalize on this fact for his own selfish gain.

What have you done to address her issues with you or the M?

The more you focus on and blame FIL, the farther away you push W. Do you really think forcing her to choose between her Dad and you is going to get you what you want? Think about that for a minute.

W will not listen to your reasoning. You can not "talk" her into doing what you think is best for her. You are hoping to control something that you cannot.

Maybe it's time for something new.

Instead of holding on, and trying to drag W back into the M, (which clearly is not working) what if you let her go? Let her know you hear what she is saying, and that she is free to go.

Then back off and allow her to go on her journey, while you go on yours.

Quote:
There will come a time when after she gets what she wants, she will find that she is no happier. Of this I am certain.


This may very well be, but with the mindset that you know what's best for your W guiding your interactions with her, you will be driving her to prove you wrong.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl