just hangin around....

[dingo]

We had a pretty low-key R talk last night. Started when she said something along the lies of 'I hate that it has to be this way - I am not happy with this decision but I am comfortable with it.' I responded with 'It doesnt have to be this way, its your choice to make it this way' - which I probably shouldn't have done but I just despise when she tries to pin everything on fate/the universe/circumstance and doesn't take accountability for her decisions.

Anyway - typical crap. Its too late, we can't communicate, i can't see any hope..

So here's my question, and I am asking it academically because practically, there is nothing to be done about it:
How does the circular logic of 'the A is keeping me from seeing my marriage realistically and having hope in it but I am not going to give up the A because I don't see hope in my marriage' ever get broken?