Just need to journal for a minute. I had a really hard time getting out of bed this morning. Really hard. Brushing my teeth took a huge effort. Then, I did my morning I almost feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed after all the awesome postings on my thread lately. Thank you all. :-)
I know the Paxil is working its way out of my system. I have the physical scheduled for next week. I'm glad.
My student just cracked me up. We were learning about the Green Mountain boys during the American Revolution and I was telling him about Ethan Allen. He said, "Doesn't he make furniture?" And, I said, "Well, there's a furniture company that is named after Ethan Allen and they make traditional styles of American furniture..." He ended my sentence by saying..."in China."
Ha!!
Anyway, in the true tradition of depression, this morning, I looked around and saw about one million things needing done. The windows need cleaned, the front flower bed needs weeded, dishes need done, car needs alignment, D19 needs picked up on Friday, living room couch needs cleaned or a slipcover after a year of students abusing it, groceries need purchased, summer camp marketing, writing ...Yadda, Yadda...
Good news is...
I stopped myself and asked Heather, "Heather, what do YOU need right now??"
My answer: Help with getting things done.
I exercised for 45 minutes last night. Didn't eat after 8 p.m. Put on some shorts and was pretty icked by what I saw in the mirror.
Had a long conversation with D19 last night. She is determined to go back to school next fall which puts tons more pressure on me. I NEED her to earn six months worth of money and go back to school as a bit more mature adult, capable of handling school, sorority and some earning.
She made valid points and she sounds absolutely distraught at the thought of having to come home for a semester.
Somehow, I need to get her home with her tons of crappp on Friday and fit her into our two bedroom house for the summer AND pay for the extra mouth to feed.
She says she has applied to several places to work over the summer. So, how is she going to get there? One car.
I give up today. I just want to give up.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
