If we state our needs with honesty and kindness, either the OP can accept that or not. Who knows what they're bringing to the table that guides their reaction/response.

It's my belief, that many of us got to the place we were in our R because of a lack of honesty about our true needs in a R. We so wanted to BE in a R that almost anything was acceptable.

Until it wasn't.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss