Hoping for positive changes

[artsy]

Starting 100 Days of Happy today!!! (If you dot know what that is, do an internet search- it's basically a social media PMA)

My first day is represented by a pic if my backpack, because I won't need it for another 3.5 months!!!! After today I am officially on summer break!!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

(Absolutely nothing to report on H- he's still in hiding. Life goes on!)

[artsy]

Well, so much for PMA.

I'm finished with my classes for the year. I thought I would feel relief, but instead I feel sad. My H has no idea how stressful this year was for me. He has no idea how hard I worked, or how well I did. He has no idea today was my last day. He just has no idea what my life is like any more.

I met with a group of my classmates after our class to celebrate the end of the year. I had a good time and kept a smile on my face while they all shared how their husbands and boyfriends are taking them out to celebrate. I used to have that. I want that again. I want someone to share things with.

I'm just so down right now, I worry that the 3.5 months off will be extremely hard. At least school was a distraction. I don't have money to get out all the time and I need to keep my D12 busy. It's all just so overwhelming right now.

I know I'll be okay, but I'm struggling right now.

[artsy]

Sandi2 is a great resource for the WAW perspective, are there any equivalents for us LBWs? I was just reading some other threads and thought how helpful it would be to have firsthand responses in regards to the perspective of a former WAH.

I always appreciate ANY advice or comments, but I was just curious.

[willbwell]

good job on the race!!
I too am in school. sadly I don't get a break thru summer and have to make arrangements for my d.
I agree, school has benn a good distraction. wish I could just stay in school and not have to get a job!

[artsy]

Thanks! It was a big deal for me

I "should" pick up more hours at my part-time job, but then I'd have to pass D12 off to a babysitter. It's a half dozen of one, 6 of the other type thing. I'm gonna start playing the lottery...

[artsy]

I need some people to weigh in here:

I had IC today. He is really pushing me to give up and decide to move on without H. Aside from that, he is really trying to get me to have a R talk with H. I keep telling him no. I'm not ready to give up and I'm not forcing a conversation that is inevitably not going to end well.

I really like my IC- he's SBT, and his point is, this "avoiding cycle" H and I are in is not working so so done has to break it.

Regardless, I'm not throwing in the towel on my M. H has been virtually silent for 3 weeks. I'm just doing my thing, but my IC says I'm still "stuck" and there's no way to not be stuck as long as H is MIA. I don't feel stuck. I've been sad lately, but it doesn't overtake my life.

What are my options here? Stop IC, get another IC, tell IC to get off the negative train or he's fired??????

What do I do?

[Georgiabelle]

Artsy ,

I had IC today too and she said something I disagree with as well. Maybe that's the part about to speak:)

I say Cs don't know everything. I think they can help you work through issues, however just because they think x doesn't mean that is the right choice for you. Trust your instincts. A good C will understand why you chose the path you did even if they don't agree.

Just my 2 cents.

[Georgiabelle]

Oh and congrats on being done for the year. Enjoy some Artsy time!

[artsy]

Thanks, GB!

Yeah, I know he and I aren't going to agree on everything, but he's becoming increasingly pushy. I really don't want to go to so done else, but I'm to the point where I'm thinking about it. :-/

I have a session with a DB coach left (I keep forgetting about it). I'm going to call and schedule it tomorrow.

I'm glad the school year is over, but I've been having a pity party since Friday... I've GOTTA bust out of that. As stressful as my program is, it was really good at distracting me...

[artsy]

Reminding myself: this is a marathon, not a sprint.

Rinse, repeat.