I sent below today. I'm trying to be a good person by putting my own needs behind Lucy's. She's in pain, and I think sending lawyers in would do nothing to help her see me negatively. I want to be patient too. I also think she's doing a good job raising D2, so it's ok for now. Over time, I'm fairly sure she W see that she needs to enable D2 to see me as D2 and I do get along really well. I guess that's premised on an optimism about W's deciding to "let the hurt go" on her journey. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic - certainly there's been not much to suggest she's making progress at a great pace, but on the other hand, why assume the worst? Today I also recall as inspiration our wedding anniversary and the good intentions and optimism we both had on that day.
Wishing you all peace and strength for your DBing.
Buddy
Hi W
Thank you for your taking my requests into account. I accept these revised arrangements for now.
I see that you still feel hurt and anger towards me and I am sad about that.
I do hope that, with time, we can focus on building a better new relationship for D2’s benefit (having a developed relationship with her father and his family) and our own happiness.
As a way to achieve that goal, I think it may be helpful to have a professional/trained counsellor to help us have conversations. I would like for us both to be honest, able to disagree and/or be assertive without either of us feeling mistreated. I think a pre-condition for our being able to do this is “trust”. I think trust needs to be rebuilt, and guidance from a trained professional could facilitate this. The councillor at 'Relationships Aoteroa' who ran the courseI attended offered to provide me with names of people who she felt were good. I’d be happy to follow up with her to get these names for us to consider/research them. I’ve also been offered couples counselling by [MY EMPLOYER] from http://[]. It may be possible to explore having some family to attend also, if that was something that would help. Let me know if you are open to potentially advancing this.
