UGH. This really takes the cake. He does all this crap to push me away and get rid of me, but yet he is trying to hold on tight. Is this normal for MLC?
I guess I just need to distance myself even further from his drama. I read something online about how some people are addicted to drama and they do things to feed off your reaction so the best possible thing to do when you can't do complete "no contact" is to do "gray rock". Become as boring and "non-dramatic" as possible. Eventually drama addicts will get bored and try to create the drama somewhere else.
I am trying not to let his antics get to me. I am getting better. I hate the way he gets the kids in the middle. But I am just going to let that play out. Seems the more "hands-off" I am, the more things tend to work themselves out.
I really wish he would just leave me alone, but I suppose he is not capable of that. Maybe he never will be.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, Your h is curious about what you are doing w/your life, i.e., be it fun activities or if you have posted a resume. Even though he doesn't want you, he is still very much interested in what you are doing. You just never know what goes through their minds, but I certainly wouldn't worry about it if you aren't anything wrong. To me, it's a sign that he's got nothing better to do but surf the web. Life must be pretty darn boring on his side of the street. You, on the other hand, have plenty to keep you busy and still have some fun. Don't allow him to spoil your fun.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I won't worry about what he is doing on his side of the street. But it is creepy, none the less. It's just amusing how predictable these MLC'ers are.
He contacted me again regarding the daycare bill and about summer camp for the kids. I suggested they get registered for swim lessons again and he agreed. I reminded him of the levels the kids have completed and asked if he could sign the kids up for swimming at the Mass Registration this Wednesday. I have a InDesign Users Group meeting I am attending so I can't do it. Besides, that is his night with the kids and he wants to play super dad so I will let him. He will not be a happy camper once he gets there. You see, I did this last year and I waited in line for about a half hour before I even got close to the registration area. Hee hee. I suckered him by telling him if we register the kids that evening, we can save $4 on lessons per kid. He acted like I was putting him out, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to save money AND look like the hero. I will probably hear him curse about it later, but I don't care.
I am learning.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I will be crazy busy the next couple of days. We have soccer-gedden this weekend and I need to do laundry, pack, make food, shop for sundries, drop off books at the library, go to the bank and the post office, etc in two days because we leave Friday after work. And tonight I won't get home until after work and tomorrow S has a soccer game so time is of the essence. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
On the home front, I bought some inexpensive solar lights for the flower bed areas and had S put them in. It looks really good. And the tulips are starting to bloom. I can scarely believe it! I am looking at a used patio table tonight I found on Craigslist. A table, four chairs and cushions for $65. Not too bad, but I don't know if I can fit it in my van? The seller said she didn't know if it would come apart or not. I guess it can't hurt to look, right? Maybe an even better deal will pop up. I looked at an inexpensive fire pit yesterday, but I couldn't commit. I think I am developing commitment phobia! LOL!
Something else bugs me. We have several coolers at the house and rather than go buy a cooler, I was considering telling H that I wanted two from the house. I don't know. I'm not afraid of him, don't get me wrong, but I am at the point where I don't really want ANYTHING to do with him and I would rather have as little contact with him as possible. Does that sound cowardly? The thought of talking about coolers with him makes me sick to my stomach. But then again, why should he hog all the coolers? I don't know. I'll toss that around in my head.
I did have to discuss S's soccer pictures with him yesterday so he could tell me what he wanted to order. Of course, his reply to me was garbled (even in email form) and made no sense. I had to ask him a few times to clarify which of course made him angry. Touchy!
But I am looking forward to this getaway with the kids. I hope it's peaceful (meaning as little of H as possible and NO OW). But I still have the sick feeling inside.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I'm not afraid of him, don't get me wrong, but I am at the point where I don't really want ANYTHING to do with him and I would rather have as little contact with him as possible. Does that sound cowardly?
NO!!!! It sounds healthy.
I would hope I wouldn't want to spend time with Adolph either. Seriously? Are you really asking this question Wishing?
I think it's perfectly understandable and I support you completely in staying away from him as much as possible. The healthier and better you feel, the better able you are able to be a rock for the kids who CAN'T avoid him, sadly.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I just want to make sure I am doing this from a place inside that once peace, and not avoidance. I do have a tendency to put off things that I am not comfortable with. It isn't healthy if I am just avoiding the inevitable or if I am just letting him have all the stuff in the house just to avoid an argument. I don't want to just let him have his way.
Maybe I can find an inexpensive cooler on Craigslist or at Goodwill.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Hey WH. My thoughts - I agree - that's a very healthy thing to not want to be around him. Very.
But also, you really don't have much of a leg to stand on yeah? You moved on already and took with you what you were going to take. I doubt seriously it's worth the fight to get a cooler from him.
That peace of mind might be worth borrowing one from a buddy instead, don't you think?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
