Well, here I am somewhere I don't want to be. After 29 years of marriage my h has left. I got the "I love you but not in love with you". It's a bit of a long story but I will try and condense it as best I can. H's father died many years ago and his mom just passed 2 years ago. 6 months after his mom passed he had a mini stroke. In October I had no choice but to leave a very good job and at the same time h had just moved to a new company. We have a d15. So lots of stressors in the last couple of years. I was a bit depressed over my job loss and feeling a bit insecure so right at Valentine's Day h asked me if he should send his female boss (who he couldn't stop talking about) flowers for Valentines. I said no, you don't send your boss anything for Valentines. Then I found out he did it anyway and got suspicious and checked his phone and email. I have never done that before. There was some stuff I thought was inappropriate and confronted him about it and he got mad. We had a fight and he left but came back a bit later and said to just forget it like it had never happened. So I wrote him a letter and apologized for doing that and explained I was just feeling insecure and being stupid and I wouldn't do it again. The next day when he read the letter he flew off the handle. That's when he left and gave me the "I'm not in love with you anymore", locked me out of our cell phone plan. The first 4 weeks he came over every Sunday, called and was all over me and acting jealous about where I'd been, etc. I was in counseling at this time and he said he wanted to go, too. Bad move. After first session together, he seemed happy about it and thought we could work things out, but after his ic he took off his ring and said we are done. Actually he made an appointment for us together, but had already taken off ring and so I knew he was going to waylay me at therapy, which he did and the therapist was so kind to tell him how to divorce me online so it would be cheaper. Anyway, here we are now, and he still wants sex when he comes over, which is now sporadic, as well as keeping in touch with our kids is also hit and miss, but he hasn't mentioned the d word again, but he certainly doesn't keep in contact with me anymore. My heart is broken and I don't understand all this. I've read Divorce Remedy, about 10 times now. I've made goals of which I've reached none. I understand if this is a mlc that it is somewhat different, but I don't know if it is a mlc or if he just hates me. He certainly isn't telling me anything. I need help.
