So sorry GA. I feel your pain. I know where you are as I have been there myself. Yesterday was the first big ceremony of my D'a HS graduation. She went to a private school and they have many traditions including last night where the Sr.'s "Ascend" from students into full adults. My D wore a beautiful outfit with hat and gloves and I was so proud. My W and I sacrificed so much to keep her in this school. She went through a hard period and almost didn't make it and there she was, up there and becoming an adult.
Where was my W? She was sitting 3 seats away and ignoring everything I said to her, getting short with me when I didn't read her mind about what to take a picture of or when, etc. I had dreamed about this day for so long. I should have been sitting there with the woman I worked so hard with, sacrificed so much with to get here. We should have been bonding over the thought that we, together, helped our D get to this place and loved each other all the more for it. Instead, I have this selfish woman who still is letting our youngest think she will be able to go to this school, sat there while she said "I can't wait until I get to do this" knowing that her choice to be on her own and single again at 47 means she won't be able to go there. It broke my heart!
Be careful right now about the friendship thing. You are still raw and still from what I can see from your post, buying into this somehow being your fault for not being "good enough" of a S. This just isn't true. This isn't about you! I too, can't understand the selfishness I see from a person who was so dedicated to her family for so long. It isn't going to stop because they see or understand your pain. If they did they would have to see that THEY are the cause of the pain. All they care about right now is THEM!Do you really want a friendship with someone who will always put you last on their list?
I know you are hurting and how hard this all is, believe me. But you need to try as best as you can to detach from the feelings you have for him right now. The person who you love as gone away. Maybe someday they will come back but don't let your feelings allow him to take advantage of you in the D. Take your time, make sure you get all you should.
