its been some time since I have dropped in. I felt I was moving on and should try and put all of this behind me. but why isn't it that easy?
It is approaching a year since my ex moved out of the house altogether, and five months now since I moved away. House stuff has reared its head again this week and we have had a flurry of texts, and an odd misdialled call - I could hear him talking but he had no idea he had called my number!!
I just looked at his facebook/twitter and see he has posted a couple of pics of him and his wifey (as he calls her) and how wonderful she is. It hurts ( I know, I shouldn't have looked). He seems to be more public about her, and I also noticed he has comments from a couple of old friends he hadn't been in contact with for some time. That hurt too. Having said that, he appears to be on facebook quite a bit again, having not used it for some time.
In some ways it feels like years have passed and he is a stranger, at other times I still feel like he should walk through the door (although he has never lived here). Some days I think it was for the best, others I miss what he was like crazy.
It is about 22 months since BD. Why can I not move on completely. Despite being quite content with my current situation (if you disregard the finances) I cannot make a complete disconnect. Perhaps because of a possible house sale, severing any need for him to contact me anymore, or because, despite of everything I still have feelings for him. How do I do this?
I guess the other thing that I hate to admit is, what has she got that I haven't - apart from him? something that made him walk away from 20 good years together. Does he hate me? Why?
These feelings are like an volcano -they lay inactive for indeterminate lengths of time and then erupt, when no one knows but they can appear devastating!
