From what I understand my W felt that I did not even love her enough to take the time to plan an evening or weekend or trip for the two of us. My actions caused her to feel like she was unimportant and now that we are married I do not have to try anymore.
She eventually stopped planning things for us to do and not only did I not take up the slack and plan something, I failed to notice that we stopped doing things all together. This really made her feel invaluable and unloved.
For her me taking the initiative to plan something for us shows her that I care about her and think about her and love her. It's all about the action.
I could have written these exact same words myself.
A huge 180 for me (that I started tentatively and only continued when I got positive responses from W) has been to plan things and invite my W to do them with me. Anything from going to a show or out to dinner, or even just leaving the kids at home so just the two of us can take a walk together.
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
