From what I understand my W felt that I did not even love her enough to take the time to plan an evening or weekend or trip for the two of us. My actions caused her to feel like she was unimportant and now that we are married I do not have to try anymore.
She eventually stopped planning things for us to do and not only did I not take up the slack and plan something, I failed to notice that we stopped doing things all together. This really made her feel invaluable and unloved.
For her me taking the initiative to plan something for us shows her that I care about her and think about her and love her. It's all about the action.
Thanks for the additional insight - more to think about I guess.
In my scenario, often times when I did plan things W would "tweak" the arrangements so I suppose eventually it became easier to just let her do it.
It never bothered me that she changed things - quite honestly she was better at it that I was/am anyway. Maybe she came to resent it though on some level - even if it was never really spoken or talked about.....
How does one attempt a 180 on this type of thing given the current state of things??
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
