What kind of immature jerk tells his son things like that!!

I suspect that your xh is in the same category as mine - angry and obsessed with us. Cant let go and won't stop trying to hurt.

Turn it round if you can, and remember that you didn't want to see you xh in the grocery store, so at least you won't have to see him at church.

Garden project sounds fun - exciting for your kids to see what you have done.