So after talking to IC and focusing on the positive of the summer vacay. She said to stop living in fear, I guess of the what ifs and just live. Worked Thurs and Fri which helped keep my mind from obsessing. Had made the choice to try to work on being the best me I can be, especially for the 2 weeks this summer...I allowed myself to get crushed again.

Keep in mind I use this spot to journal as well...BUT today when I logged onto facebook and went to my profile I noticed a change. It no longer said that I'm Married to H...it simply says married. I thought maybe H had deleted me but as it turns out he changed his relationship status to single! I know that FB is just a social networking site and it doesn't matter in the big picture...but this is totally out of the norm of my H. He's pretty private usually...not that he posted it to the world but if you look at his page you will see it.

I have many different thoughts about this...he could've just left this blank instead of putting single...but yup...I've dwelled on it all day. I have not told my friends or family and if anybody sees I'm sure to get questions I'm not ready for. Not to mention we have not told our kids....I'm friends with them on FB...he's not, not likely they will notice but he doesn't know that.

Also, he removed the picture I posted of the kids wishing him a happy birthday from his timeline....trying to appease the ow or potential ow....send me a message maybe?

I know I can't try to figure him out and I need to accept where he is, just venting right now.


Me-44 (45)
H- 50 (51)
M-'96

S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)

BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas)
home Oct(sep rooms)
(EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed)
insists wants D through July 2015
no more talk of D since