Loaded with good stuff as usual, Sandi. Yes. I do think that I got things out of balance. I owned A LOT of stuff (which I needed to, honestly) and I think when you do that for so long and the other person owns little to nothing (that's her right, I can't control it) you really do begin to believe that YOU are the problem...that you alone caused a ton of damage. And then, you try to fix it....and you do. And you hope that is enough to catch the other person's eye -- and it doesn't. You are kind of left owning a lot of stuff still and it makes you question your self esteem and value. I really try to remember what many people have told me so far - at this point, it is not me anymore - it's pretty much her and her issues - whatever they may be..
And yes, I often think that what I am dealing with now (OM) is something that the majority of other folks here have to deal with from day 1. And it has kind of dragged me backwards a bit.....but I am dealing with it - 4 weeks in and I am moving past anger and I still am keeping my distance. But to your point, yeah - it has blown the lid off of my insecurities in a major way. I still am trying to get out of the mindset that this OM has to be better than me in every single way. I know it is not a rational thought......I am working on it.
So I DID take S to make and paint a little plate with his hand prints on it for Mother's Day. Ignoring the fact that it was for her - we really had a lot of fun together - I guess that is what matters most. Whether or not I give it to her remains to be seen.
By the way, she texted me today and asked if I wanted an end table from our old set (she moved last week and I guess maybe she got some new stuff) - I didn't respond. Still sticking to my guns there.
2TH -- 18 months, yeah - seems like we have a pretty fair amount of stuff in common at the moments. I don't know about you, but being a single dad - albeit unwanted - has really created an amazing bind with me and my son. I am thinking about signing up for scuba certification this month. I just have to get the momentum to do it.
