Are you still in the same house and separate bedrooms? God bless you for your patience! What did you do that helped keep things where they are and not lose hope?
Yes, same house sep bedrooms for over two years now. The things I did to help "keep things where they are" (us M, and in the same home) is everything we talk about here... No pressure, give my W space and time, GAL, focus on myself, PMA, etc.
The reality is that any one of our spouses could bail at any time. Sometimes, just knowing that we're not holding on to them is enough to cause them to relax and stay. Let him know that if he wants to go, you won't try to stop him. (you can say it's not what you want, once, and then leave it at that)
To not lose hope we have to look for positives instead of dwelling on the negatives. My W shows love in many ways, even if not romantically... this gives me much hope! Your H is telling you he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you. A big positive! He's still a great father, he's still in your home, likely contributing in many ways. All positives.
Look too, at all the pain H is dealing with. He's struggling greatly with these new feelings. Likely in even more pain than you! How could you not have compassion for him?
To be honest, I still sometimes lose hope, and you will too. This is ok. Accept these feelings and realize that they will pass, and you WILL feel hopeful again.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
