just hangin around....

[dingo]

Week or so since my last update - here goes:

I did finally get the papers in the mail a week ago. Appointment with my attorney next week. Most of the stuff in there was pretty simple and had already been discussed. No kids makes it pretty easy. We did have some negotiating on physical property but that was all pretty minor.

Emotionally, I think my wife is totally done. She's accepted everything that's going to happen and it doesn't seem to bother her - or bother her enough. There is very little emotion when we speak, no real animosity either. We can be friendly and laugh but that is probably just a familiarity thing. I guess I still held out some hope so I am not as accepting as I thought I would be.

GAL is helping but a lot of my favorite activities are things we used to do together. I push through and do them anyway but its tough.

I struggle with a lot of questions. Guilt for the things I did wrong in the relationship is still a struggle. I also struggle with 'sour grapes' kind of thoughts - there was obviously something about the relationship that wasn't doing it for me or I would have been a better partner; do I only want her back now because I can't have her? What would I do if she came crawling back tomorrow? How would I feel about that? Maybe this is the best thing.