Still trying to save my family - part 11

[Scorp7]

Mel, thanks for your thoughts. I agree that 10 days away is a long time. I had been thinking of sticking with the 7 day schedule through the summer. The 10 day schedule is what my W has proposed. Right now my kids are away from me often for up to 11 or 12 days at a time and it's not good for them. My oldest D is in counseling on a regular basis and the counselor has told me the main worry my D has in being away from me for so long.

I was very involved with my kids before this happened and they want and need me to still be that involved in the future. My W is not generally the main care giver for my kids when they are with her, her mother is with them far more than she is. I will be able to be with my kids every day that they are with me and be the primary care giver.

There is a ton of research that's been done in recent years with regard to parenting after D and most of it says that kids benefit greatly from having both parents involved in their lives equally. If having both parents involved was the norm before the separation then that should not change afterwards. I have always been involved with every part of their lives, from changing diapers, getting them ready in the morning, feeding them during the day and putting them to bed at night. In fact, after my son was born it was necessary for me to take over even more of the parenting tasks with both my girls.

I'm sure my W loves our kids every bit as much as I do. She has always had a hard time being warm and open in general, that may be why the kids have been a bit closer with me. I am sure that if my W and I can't find a way to R that splitting time with our kids is the best thing we can do for them.