CSan00 - My story

[CS000]

This is both of our 2nd marriages. We fell in love fast and moved in together after 7 months then got engaged a year later and married in August 2011. We had issues with the way I disciplined my kids who lived with us and honestly, I was too soft on the kids and didn't follow through nor did I back up my H with the kids. Then with his kids who came for the summer, I resented how lax he was on them and compared it to my kids which was a huge mistake. My H also was sad and disappointed in how I didn't make an effort to bond with his kids which he is right. He asked repeatedly for marriage counseling which I said we didn't need. This combined with the stress of my teenager daughter running away and my youngest son having issues, I went into denial big time. I stopped going out with my H, making time for us as a couple and I also ignored my depression returning and I became a sad, negative, pessimistic and angry person. On top of that my H had back surgery which went well however the pain meds he was on made him belligerent and mean. This caused me too feel disconnected a bit from my H. That's when started MC in Spring of 2013 but it was a little too late by then as I look back. My sisters are also an issue as they were close to my H in the beginning but then they stopped talking to him and shut him out. He felt betrayed and I didn't address it and shrugged it off. Again I heard him but didn't really listen, another one of my H's complaints. My H has PTSD and by the fall of 2013 we were both in bad places. In February of 2014 my H dropped the BD which he moved out and we have been separated since then. My H still wants the D. I see now all the warning signs and have gotten a better handle on my depression by getting the help I needed. I am still working on making lasting changes but an having a hard time....When he dropped the BD I felt that the fog/depression lifted and I saw all I had ignored and failed to do