Starting to get it

[mustardseed]

So after posting here I tried reaching out to him again. All with a PMA and he said, "we need to talk. I'm done." So I asked some more questions to try and figure out what that meant, partly trying to gauge if he was talking suicide, quitting his job, divorce, all of it at the same time? He said he is a pressure cooker ready to blow and this isn't helping (I assume he means me and our marriage but he will never come right out and say it unless he is pushed). He said he will never tell me anything ever again and hinted about that night before my birthday was to blame. I told him I think we probably have really different perspectives on what went down that night. Finally he said he doesn't love me and doesn't want to be married.

I said, "Fine, but I am worried that you are very depressed and just thinking of cutting everyone and everything off so you can start fresh". He got all defensive and said he isn't trying to do that, and that he will always be there for the kids (I didn't even bring up the kids but that seems to be what his big concern is). I said I know he is not the type of person who would abandon his kids just to start fresh, that wasn't what I was talking about, I was worried about suicide. He again said, "No I wouldn't do that because I will always be there for the kids" so finally I said, "I know that, and I want you to know I will always be there for you no matter what happens". Then I left it at that.

There were a few other things that came up that confirmed some of my ideas as to why he has been so mad at me the past few weeks, and I finally got to say my piece regarding them. He completely misread so many of the things that has happened, and because he won't talk about things, and because I am not supposed to bring things up since I am DBing, they just hung over us.

Why can't he just snap out of this and realize that we can get through this?