He is wearing the very latest in teenage attire...
Oh man, says it all!
How about an earring and vanity license plate, like my former brother in law? Then 2 years passed and my sister was remarrying and he realized he had "made a HUGE mistake"....oops.
Too late. My sister was devastated when he left, after 3 kids and 22 years of marriage, during which SHE put HIM thru law school, while working full time as a nurse AND doing most of the child rearing. She got half the house equity & $150 a month in alimony for 2 years & that's it. He now has a 6 figure income, thanks to her...it was unfair but, so what?
She's now happy and told me that "even though" she'll never feel at peace with how the D hurt her kids, she IS at peace with what they get to see in her new marriage.
Her "new" H, (11 years now) really gets her. Puts true effort into the M.
My sister said that "now that [she] knows what it's like to be THE priority", she'd "never go back to what [she & her ex h] had..."
I could compare his new life to hers some more, but why do that?
He is NOT relevant to her life. His happiness/misery are not relevant to HERS. There's no converse or inverse relationship between the two. If his car breaks down, she does "win" a new car. If he goes on a cruise, she suffers NOT at all...
And that's why I tell folks to "lose the scorecard". (Plus, it's impossible to know what someone else's experience is or how "happy" they are, were/will be.) And what matters, the only thing that matters, AND the only thing we can control, is OUR happiness (& how we treat others). Which is also our responsibility. It always was ours, even when we gave that "happiness" duty to others, it was ours.
Now we know. Hence all of our changes. My sister is genuinely happier, with less stress in her life, than she ever would have been with my former bil. I know this to be true & at the time he left, I recall wondering how long it would take before my sister realized, he had done her a favor...
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
