Hi daring, I too see many positives in your sitch... and some similarities to mine.
Originally Posted By: daring
Help! How do I handle the follow up tomorrow???
Well, for starters don't initiate it! H is very uncomfortable knowing that he can't commit to you right now, and the mere thought of it on top of everything else he is dealing with is overwhelming to him. This can drive him to run if you don't back off. I know you want to hear reassuring words more than anything right now, but he has none to offer. Can you find a way to be ok with this? It's in the best interest of your M if you can.
There's a reason we are taught to not have Big Relationship Talks at this time... because they can't help and can only hurt. It's additional pressure on your H, at the worst time. Stop looking and expecting more from him and he will relax!
Don't think in terms of finding resolution. It's ok, even preferred, that this takes some time. Think in terms of outlasting his MLC by enjoying your new life. Fake it 'til you make it, but make sure you make it! If you do this well, it takes A LOT of pressure off of him, and he will be less likely to leave or initiate D. Ask me how I know!
If he initiates R talk, and starts into how it's all too hard, there's no hope, etc., reassure him that you understand... and that you believe he will work his way through this and things will get better.
I like how it sounds like H and you still have a strong connection. Maintain and build on that. (when possible. Remember, no pressure!)
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
