I guess my problem is that my situation is quite unique. We weren't actually married, so there is no D process to go through that buys me any time. As far as BF is concerned, we're done and dusted.
Similarly, we don't have kids or shared assets, so we don't have many reasons to do the whole "only talk about business/kids" thing, etc.
And now that we're living across the world from each other, it makes it hard to apply my changes and have him see them. The only way for H to see the changes I am making, etc is for me to SHOW him.
