Don't know what to think

[T-boned]

Thank you TL. You're so right-on about when you think of the 'loving' guy that's when it gets difficult. When you remember the days when he was a d*ck, it's easy to detach. You know, aabout a year and a half ago, not long after I finished my last round of chemotherapy, he started really picking on me and saying hurtful things. And I couldn't believe what I was hearing/feeling from him. Looking back, I think he wanted me to not like him - maybe I would leave him?

This past Tuesday when we got done signing all the deeds etc and he wanted me to hug him I just felt so disrespectful and disrespected. Felt like saying, "Why do you need a hug from me - go hug your girlfriend you rat-ba*tard." Then I felt such contempt and then sort of a freedom. This bit of anger and the realization that he's not the same guy I married is helping despite my moments of weakness.

And of course, your dialogue is really helpful!
Yes, I wish we could go for a walk and just help each other. But we'll walk in spirit. I hope you are doing okay. I'll stop by your site. Again, thanks TL. You're a light in a dark place. (((Hugs back))