In the past I would probably relied on my W to decide what to do or at least dictate the evening. My thoughts and feelings on this in the past was that if I didn't have a strong conviction or opinion about what we should do, then I would agree to whatever others wanted to do.
I took this as being gracious and me taking other's opinions into account. Now I see how my actions could show that of not caring and relying on others to plan things and me talking others for granted.
gogofo, stumps, & labug, ^^^^ really resonated with me in reading thru your scenario.
Can you elaborate a bit further? Although my W did not specifically mention this as an issue I definitely did rely on her to manage the family and our "social calendar" and the household.
Much like what you state I thought I was being considerate of what she/others were interested in doing. Maybe my W had some of the same feelings about me not caring or being taken for granted??
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork