Hope you're doing better today. I may pick up that book about vulnerability. I have also lived so much of my life 'guarding my heart' so I know what you mean. The biggest change, though, in these past 11 months for me has been to become much more 'real' and tear the walls down. Let whatever emotions occur just happen. You feel them, acknowledge them, and then move on. I have had my share of all-out sobbing episodes (and I hate hearing myself do this - hard to listen to!), but they usually only last about 10 minutes and then it's over. I really do feel much better afterward. It all just seems to well up and get to a point where you have to let it all out to keep going.
My H's MLC has been a huge eye-opener for me. Not so much for him, because he's still refusing to do any self-examination whatsoever. Promised he would start IC, but only went a couple of times. Tough to sit there and admit he has an OW, I guess!
Anyway, feel it all, let it out, and then go on with your day. Those times pass...
BTW - no updates on my sitch. Haven't talked with H since he asked me to let him know whether mediation is the way I want to go, about 3.5 weeks ago now. We'll have to talk sometime I guess...
Me 53, XH 57 M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids BD June '13 H moved out July '13 Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14 H filed for D Nov. '14 D March '15
