What am I missing, he wants his cake & to eat it?! I've had another 2 emails; begging me to talk to him, asking if i'm alright, saying he's sorry, saying that he hates all this... [quote]
Up - I have been through the exact same thing since I started to really enforce my boundary that I wont have a R with H until he no longer has a R with the OW. My H does not like the boundary at all. For the first two weeks he REALLY tried to push them. I wanted to yell "Just leave me alone." He has gotten better since for the most part. I did email him about the kids on Wed after we had not talked at all for two days and he immediately emailed and called at the same time to give me the exact same response.
I talked to my IC this morning about it. She says that I have changed our dynamic. She says that my H realizes that I have changed and the old tricks are no longer working. She thinks that it has thrown him for a loop and he does not know what to do.
And I also think that your H (like mine) wants loves cake eating. Over the past couple of months, we had ML a few times and were getting closer. I realized I needed more and pulled away. He does not like it because he had a pretty awesome set up. Based on what you have said, it seems like you were in a similar situation.
You seem SO MUCH stronger since you went NC. Don't let him get to you. Continue to change the dynamic. You are doing great
[quote=Upwards] Seriously questioning whether i'm still "standing" anymore, really not sure my H can ever give me what I need to be fulfilled in a relationship, although I suppose miracles do happen.
I really don't think that you need to decide whether you are still "standing" at the moment. All you need to do is worry about you and keep walking forward. Let go of the outcome because that really is freeing. You don't need to decide today whether or not you could have a future with your H.
