I would not meet with the XOW under any circumstances. Don't give her the power.
If I were H, I'd go to the Apple store and work with them to disconnect the phone. Is the phone under H's plan? If yes, then I'd ask the store to disable it. If it is under XOW's name and credit card, then it'd be best to cut your losses and move on from that situation.
You and H need to extract yourselves from OW in any way possible without SEEING her at all. Scratch option #2.
Doesn't the OXW have an email that H can send the NC to as most iPhones tend to have the @gmail.com account.
