It has been raining here and drizzly and cloudy all week. So much for working in the garden. Blah. It is mocking me but one sweet day the sun will shine again and I will chop down that monster of a garden. On the upside I think a tulip is going to bloom. That will be nice to see.
I took some of my diamond and gold rings to a jeweler to see how much cash I could get for them. For my diamond wedding band my highest offer was $130. For the five other diamond and gemstone rings my highest offer was $185. So I am a bit bummed. I know that is $300 more than I have right now, but I was hoping for more so I could it toward my ever growing legal bill. I'll have to talk to the bank about getting a loan or something. If that is the cash I will receive for all my rings I will just keep them. Or maybe try to sell them myself.
I stopped at the grocery store last night because S's soccer game was cancelled (due to rain, of course) and guess who was already there? H. I just didn't even want to go down that road of "bumping into him" at the grocery store. Awkward. So I just went home. Does that seem cowardly? I just didn't want the awkwardness and for him to think that I went there on purpose. It is just easier to shop for groceries another time.
Lots of introspection lately. Mostly about what I want and who I want to be? It has been a long time since I could focus on me and who I am. Everyone on this board says to focus on yourself from day one. It's easier said than done, but I am finally doing it. I have started eating better, making smarter choices with money, planning ahead regarding the kids and trying to take care of my relationships with other people. It's baby steps really. I don't really know if I have grown or not, but I am being real and honest with myself. I am seeing what I need to or want to change about myself and what I like about myself. It's hard to be honest and critique without coming down too hard on oneself. It's also hard to try and change those aspects to be the person you really want to be.
Meeting a good friend at her house tonight for margaritas and movies. Tomorrow and Sunday is soccer-gedden if it ever stops raining. So my time is starting to honestly fill with things I want to do for me.
And you all were right. It does get better.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
