Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate it in a big way. I think the stuff that scares us is the very stuff God wants us to deal with.
I'm sorry if I baffled everyone with my analyzing this week. I just couldn't find the source of the overwhelming feelings and I was trying in my own, out-dated, not-working for me anymore way of whatever...
I do have friends. I can think of 5 friends off the cuff who would drop everything to help me in a pinch...and, they have. :-) They are good people and love me. I'm terrible at nurturing friendships. Two girlfriends are friends I consider besties. I see one at least every other day. The other I need to call.
It is, however, my M.O. to retreat and digest things when overwhelming feelings/situations hit me. I've done that a lot in life. Partly, it's just my way of coping. But, I know it can be frustrating. My best friends, though, get this and are somewhat the same way.
The paranoia and keeping people at a distance. These were things I need to face. I don't think I do it to the extent that maybe it's come across...but, it's still something I need to face. There's truth in some of this.
I've been lied to, alot over a very long period of time. And, Smokey has always given me these "surprises" where I found out things in a horrible way. Secrets were revealed in a very...well... I will pick this up later. Just say, it's made me very tired.
I have students coming. I need to pick this up later.
Thanks guys :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
