Magic, Why did you feel pressured and obligated? The people posting here are just like you, searching for answers. They acknowledge the postings and take away what they can use and toss the rest. There is no binding contract or an "IOU" for the advice.
Have you thought that maybe the way you communicated your path and how you were going about it could have created frustration for the posters and that's why they have opted not to post to you? Have you ever asked yourself why people react the way they do when you raise questions repeatedly about the same subject? Why do you feel the need to respond quickly to posters or people in the real world? Why not sit on their advice/suggestions/support for a bit and think about how you are going to respond and not be defensive or in a debatable way? What you are doing is called a "knee jerk" reaction and sometimes it comes across as being "not listening, thinking or actually reading and comprehending" what people have posted.
Why be scared? Haven't you been living on your own for quite some time? That's called being independent. Are you placing yourself first in your world? Do you like the person you are today? Before others can love and respect you, you've got to love and respect yourself first.
BTW, I'm glad to see you have started a photo project. This is a first step in finding ways to keep yourself busy. What will you do w/this project when it's completed? Will you share it w/others or just place it in the closet for safekeeping?
Have you begun to look for another place to live? If not, why?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
