Thank you why try- your encouragement means a lot to me. And your insight from the other side helps too. I think being authentic in your dealings with W is key... As well as time. Being the LBS can be very draining and I can only imagine that after standing and then deciding to step down from the stand- W may be completely emotionally drained.

AJM thank you for coming by :-) I too feel like I need to stand. I also decided not to date or have an affair while standing.

And no the question is not if he is dazed and confused. :-) maybe the question I am getting at is if I am dazed and confused. I have not once - until now- felt this pronounced absence in my life. The loneliness - and the stark reality of being so alone. I am tired and I guess I need to figure out how much longer I wil stand. I want to stand. I need to renewed strength maybe.

As for feeling valued. I Feel valued by my friends, work, my kids... Not by someone though that has an interest in me out the context of socialisig, colleague and mother. Just as busting.

And maybe that's what hitting me now. Because I am incredibly fulfilled and grateful by and for my kids, work and friends. I know I am blessed in that regard and I am thankful for it.

Am I being impatient for wanting more? Am I being unfair to his journey and time and space he needs? He is dazed and confused...

How do we know when we can't do it anymore?

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home