Well, we had a phone call today.. planned, as usual.
I did my best to adopt a casual/nonchalant approach. We chatted about life in general and I tried to laugh at his jokes and stay smiling the whole time, etc. It wasn't as hard as I expected. Although I barely slept last night thinking about it, I didn't have that horrible feeling of dread either.
It turns out, he has booked his ticket to come and activate his visa. He is barely staying in the country for 24 hours, but at least he is getting the visa, which means we do have an option to be together in the future if he decides that is what he wants to do.
So, I asked him if he would consider staying with me. He's hesitatent - his words: "I don't really think that's a good idea," "I think it would be difficult," and "I don't know if it's that wise a decision."
My argument: I won't talk about OR, I think it would be nice to have a "nice time" together since we don't know when/if we'll ever see each other again (this made him tear up) and that I won't make it hard on him or put any pressure on him. He agreed to think about it.
I am fairly certain he won't do it, but he did agree to see me while he was here, so I get that at the very least. So strange to think that I'll get a 3-hour visiting session (at the most, probably) with a man I spent every day with for 7.5 years.
I don't know if I am doing the right/wrong thing here. It's hard to figure out what's going on in his head. I know there is no one else.. I feel sure of this. He won't rule out a future for us entirely - he takes a "never say never" approach - but he won't give any commitments, which I get. That's the fair thing to do, really. I'd punish him if he did otherwise, probably.
But it's hard to see how this has made any difference to his life at all.
