MY LIFE IS WHAT I MAKE IT AND IT IS AWESOME !

[Ambivalent]

Saw JTM on Monday, all day and into the late eve. I never laughed so hard with a man ... it is SO nice to do this. Especially after all the heartache and anxiety.

He wants me to know that I can laugh, cry, scream and feel very safe with him at all times... that he wants me to know when I'm alone that someone really cares for me. That " he " cares for me.

Today I had to tell him an uncomfortable thing. My friend is coming from N.H. to visit tomorrow and he said he'd like to meet her. At the time I told him I wasn't so sure she'd want to do that, and that I'd have a difficult time keeping my hands and attention off of him! Wink

Well I did discuss this with my girlfriend and she did express that she would prefer to have me to herself. Sooooo this is what I had to relay.

I could have texted this, but I thought that would be insensitive. I just called him, shared the news and he was SO sweet. He told me not to worry, that that was just fine and to have a wonderful weekend with her. He asked me how I was doing and I said I was frantically cleaning to prepare for her.

I also offered to perhaps let him come in the house after the weekend. We laughed about this, for I haven't allowed him into the inner sanctuary! He has been spending so much on us, when we get together. I would like to give him a night off from that and allow him to B&B at my home. So we made tentative plans.
I look forward to this, but am still a bit hesitant... due to my paperwork situation. I would prefer everything to be filed.

I'll rethink this after the weekend and see how I feel later.

I will be picking up my daughter, and then receiving my friend at the air port. We " girl's " will go to lunch and share. She new my daughter since she was a twinkle in my eye, and hasn't seen her since she was a younger child.

I'm looking forward to being with her, for she has been a wonderful and patient friend through out all the anxiety, depression, and drama. I want so much to show her how much I love her and appreciate her friendship. I have a chocolate bucket, and a tea service for her at the bedside. We will be in each other's arms hugging a lot and hopefully NOT crying!!!