It seems important to H that the house is fairly organized and clean. I can understand where he's coming from. For me, I thrive in a clean and organized house. If there's a mess, I get agitated. That is just how I roll.
Yesterday H got the mail for the first time in months, complimented my food, hung out and watched tv, went to his counseling apt, talked a lot about the future, and offered to take the garbage out. He also handled a parenting situation with our son really well.
I hope you gave H some WOA on how he handled your S. WOAs in the parenting department actually forge a stronger bond between the spouses. That says you've got each other's backs. H gets very agitated after his counseling appts. He came into my bedroom at 10:30 last night and said he was feeling anxious and antsy and was going to drive around. He ended up at a bar and got home at 2am. Was he with OW? Was he drinking and driving? What was he really up to? Who cares.
This is how H copes with his anxiety. To each to their own. Not sure if he actually met up with the OW. It will take about 12 to 18 months for the MLCer to reconnect and feel settled back in the M and family home.
You're going a fabulous job here!
Yes, please do keep posting the positives because what you focus on expands. Keep going, baby!
