WAW...Again

[stumps]

Keep thinking... maybe I should tell W to move out. She brought it up herself the other night, saying she thought she should. When I told her to go whenever she was ready she said not until she knew what my plan is...not until I knew exactly where I would be living because her moving out and telling the kids was going to be contingent on that.

But it doesn't have to work like that. Her parents live 2 houses away and that's where she's planning on moving. Her dad has told me W can move in any time she's ready. He's even said he doesn't understand why she hasn't yet.

So I'm starting to envision something. She moves in with her parents, and the kids and I stay in the house. There doesn't need to be any mention of what *I* am going to do. We frame it as "W needing a break from dad", but she's still close enough to see the kids whenever she/they want.

I've been assuming that us staying under the same roof as long as possible is a good thing. That it provides the opportunity for her to see on a daily basis my 180s/GAL. But I'm starting to wonder. Her father made it clear to me that when W moves in to his house, W's life will be work and home. That he wasn't going to put up with her going out all the time and coming in at all hours (although to her credit W has curtailed a lot of that, but she still "parties" way more than any reasonable person would claim is health or wise for a married mother of two). The best I can figure is W knows this, and that's why she hasn't moved out of our home yet. Is she cake-eating? Right now she's free to come and go pretty much as she sees fit. Perhaps part of her surprise at my suggestion I'll move 2 hours away was not realizing that I won't be around to subsidize her free time anymore. Perhaps her not moving out, despite stating a couple of times that she needs to, is less about "what to tell the kids" then it is about her realizing that her lifestyle will change drastically once she moves out.

So maybe I should force the issue. Maybe I should say it's time for her to go. She hasn't explained what her "I have a renewed sense of hope" comment yesterday morning meant, but there certainly hasn't been any outward change in our sitch. So maybe I should just say "look W, if you're truly done, and you truly believe that even if things stay the way they have been for the past month you will still be unhappy in this marriage because you can't get over the past, then you should just go. Move in with your parents ASAP. There is no point in waiting."

I don't necessarily want to teach her a lesson...but I certainly wouldn't mind if life does. And I do think her moving out, and being forced to live a different lifestyle, will be an eye-opening experience for her.

I don't know. I don't know if this is rational thinking on my part, or the product of my desperation.