afraid I have waited too long #3

[nit84]

Well my W found out I got a separate account and put most of the money from one account into it to protect our interests.

On Monday I texted and asked for her word that she would not withdrawal anymore money from that account without talking to me first. I promised to do the same. She did not respond back and I talked to her later that day and she was seemingly unwilling to work together to keep L fees to a minimum so I felt I had no choice to do but set up a separate account and put that money in there.

Now her stance before I did all this was it is both our money and I don't have ask and my L said I could use that money even though you put it in there. I said legally yes you are correct morally it is wrong though and you know it.

I understand how this is working so that is why I did what I did the bank said it was legal I know its not going to help the sitch but I felt she was being told by her L or others to do what I did so I had to act in my best interest.

She called this morning and said why did you take all that money out of the account I said I felt it is mine. She hung up.

Then she texted me about what happened to the text I sent about good faith.

I responded by saying Well you never responded back to that text and I felt I had to act in our best interests. You seemed ok with going behind my back to retain an atty and using that money without discussing it with me and said don't worry it will all come out in the wash, so this money then to will come out in the wash. I feel that even though you say you want to work together for a peacefully resolution Your actions seem to me to indicate otherwise. I want to keep L fees low and have ideas on what to do with credit cards in order to save us immediate money.

You have said that you wanted your L to do the accounting not us so that will cost money. If you are open to working together on this I am willing just let me know. I am just as upset as you about all this please know that.

I probably should have run what I wanted to say past you guys first but wasn't thinking clearly.

From now on I will ask if what I am needing to say to my W is correct or needs to be amended.

Since this is already sent did I mess up at all?

With my W actions it indicates that she is or is getting somewhat desperate. I hate that but have no control over it.

I told her Sunday night Ok W I understand you need to do what is in your best interest. So now realize I need to do the same. This has no bearing on my feelings for you I still love and I am in love with you. Things that I am advised to do might affect you in a negative way and I am sorry for that. But now it has to be a business like sitch. Then I walked away.

She called me back and said you are going to be vicious I said not if I can help it.

She said you know the funny thing is way back in July when I told you I didn't love you and wanted a D. I didn't want to say those words because I knew it would crush you but I did. The first thing you said was This will ruin you financially, Not I love you lets work things out but only it will ruin you financially.

I told her I said that plus the emotional toll will be severe also. I didn't say I love you because you already knew that and lets work things out because I felt you needed space based upon your request I move out. Believe that is all I ever wanted and still want is to try and work on things.

She said My mind was already made up I wanted a D.

I said so if I said those words I love you, lets work on things it wouldn't have mattered. She said Probably not I said well then why bring it up now and she said it is just funny how money matters to you more than I do to you.

I said that is your perception and your right to feel that way and I have learned to let a bunch of stuff roll off my back and I feel great about myself now. You have done a wonderful job with paying bills except for that bounced check a few weeks ago. That doesn't even matter because that happens in life and is no big deal.

Then she said just like you wanting to have a baby. I said I always did and still do. She abruptly said have a good night and shut the bedroom door. I said goodnight.

Please can I get some feedback on this. I am ok but pretty fragile to myself right now. Outward to W and others I am showing a strong front but inside I am reeling somewhat.