I think I belong here #3

[T-boned]

Praying - I'm just another in an unfortunately LONG line of people who have and are going through this too. Like you, I have had some terrible days lately where I cry for no apparent reason, it just happens, wells up out of the cavern where your heart used to be (a little dramatic, I know, but that's what it feels like, right?). Just go ahead and feel it, own it, let it out (when and where appropriate)because growth and strength will come. You may not see or feel it yourself, but from what you write here at this site we will all see it and tell you so. You are grieving, grieving for the man you once knew who now all of the sudden seems to have disappeared. Your heart breaks not only for your loss but for your children whose father is no where in sight.

So you keep those kids close to you - you need them, and more importantly, they need you! I, like LiveNow, don't have children to take comfort in or have as a reason to be strong and fight through this, but we and all the others like us will get through it as well. It's a long road, one none of us wants to be on, but sadly this was not our choice. At least we have each other to walk with.

Praying, you are not the reason for his insanity - it's from within him, he has demons he is fighting. Doesn't make it easier for you to know this, but even though he may not show it (which I'm sure he won't) he is in his own personal h@ll. So HE has to figure his way out. And you need to find the strength to take care of yourself so your kids have the anchor they need. Sorry it all has to fall on you right now, but for right now there is no other choice.

We are all here for you, and though it's sad to think of how many others there are in the world going through this pain and heartache, at least we have each other here on these boards. Truly a Godsend.

Now, go hug and kiss your kids, get some rest and see what tomorrow brings. Look for the small miracles in life, that flower blossoming in your yard or the neighbors yard, a hummingbird visiting a feeder, anything in nature - just stop and observe. See the little beautiful things that go on right before our very eyes even if only for a moment. It helps.

Hugs and love to you, Praying.