So much of what you said resonated with me as well. Although at this point I have NC with my H. I too feel like by me "letting him go" it is a sign for him that he is ok to move on with whatever it is he is doing and let go of his guilt and anger.
Of course I have no idea what is really going on in his head. It has been about 2.5 weeks since we've had any sort of interaction between us.
I spend so much of my time with the would've and could've and what ifs that it is consuming all of my energy. My IC also says to focus on today and what I can control which is me.
Quote:
"The energy to keep this up is taking a toll on me, and if there is no chance of payoff... back to my beginning-- is it worth it?? Why am I bothering?"
The problem with so many of us on here is we are doing all this, making changes and focusing on 'the payoff' the problem is we focus on the wrong payoff. The payoff we should focus on, and will hopefully get to is the better, happier self.
^^^^^BINGO!!!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
