I think we all reach a point when we HAVE TO KNOW the truth. I think it's very normal. The point where we face the elephant in the living room. Sounds like you have reached this point.

It's the point where we want confirmation, but, for me, it was the point where I already knew the truth. I was tired of feeling like I was being made out to be crazzeee when it was my spouse who was acting in all manic sorts of crazy.

What are the facts?

You know he is having an affair.

You sense he is having her at the house. Does he admit that she comes to the house as a "friend?"

"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson