In the past I would probably relied on my W to decide what to do or at least dictate the evening. My thoughts and feelings on this in the past was that if I didn't have a strong conviction or opinion about what we should do, then I would agree to whatever others wanted to do.
I took this as being gracious and me taking other's opinions into account.
I used to do the same thing, and W subsequently advised me that it made her think I didn't care. One of my biggest 180s is to simply make plans. For myself, for me and friends, for me and the kids, and--because she is still accepting them--for me and W.
Which leads to...
Originally Posted By: gogofo
I have read in other threads that this really isn't pursuing because the W is being invited. Does this seem correct? Am I not giving my W enough space? I know one of the reasons I would want her to be there is that in my mind it would be another positive step towards reconciliation.
I was advised something similar here. I think the idea is to sparingly extend invitations (e.g., I've made plans for ______ and would love for you to come") with the understanding that you will be going no matter what your W's response is. Then proceed accordingly...
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
